2004-04-13 - 11:25 p.m.
5 Random things:
1) I witnessed a very sad little scene today in the Chapters downtown. There was a woman who appeared to be an undercover security person of some sort holding an armful of books, and a little man in a big coat facing her.
Little man: Those aren't from here!
Security woman: Then where are they from?
Little man: If I tell you that, you'll call the police!
Security woman: Well, if you can't provide me with an explanation of where these came from, I'll have to call the police. You've been caught stealing here before, and you know you're banned - I could charge you with trespassing just for being here.
Little man: They're not from here!
Security woman: Then where are they from?
Little man: The library!
Security woman: No, they're clearly not. No library tags.
Little man: I may be a thief but I'm an honest thief!
Other bookstore guy: An 'honest thief'?
Little man: Whenever I've taken something from here I've told you!
Security woman: ... No you haven't. We *caught* you. Look, I'm going to call the police unless you promise that you'll never come back in here.
Little man: No!
Security woman: No, you won't come back?
Little man: No, I can come back here whenever I want!
Security woman: OK, I'm calling the police - do you really want to make a scene about this?
Little man: I'm making a scene because I'll have my justice from all the bookstores of Toronto! I'll have my revenge!
And then he ran out the door, leaving the books behind... some people are just not cut out for a life of crime.
2)I went to see a dixieland band at a blues bar here over the weekend, and there was what seemed to me to be a particularly polite-canadian bit of graffitti in the washroom, a thick black scrawl that read: "Punks not dead and will never die! But the blues are pretty good too."
3)A friendly dutch girl at the gym complimented me on my shoes (street shoes, not gym shoes), which were, incidentally, also dutch. For some reason I find this very charming.
4) I love plant names:
Comfrey - also known as ass ear, bruisewort, knitback, and knitbone.
Lobelia - Also known as bladderwort, gagroot, pukeweed, and vomit wort.
Pennyroyal oil - also known as lurk-in-the-ditch, mosquito plant, pudding grass, run-by-the-ground, stinking balm, and tickweed.
Skullcap - also known as hoodwort, mad-weed, mad-dog weed, and quaker bonnet.
5) I really will start updating this more regularly soon, now that work has stopped eating my brain with end-of-year crap. Really.
