2004-08-04 - 7:56 a.m.
Me: I hate my doctor.
Workguy: Why?
Me: I can't believe he asked me if I was putting stuff in my ear, like I'm some sort of giant retard who at 32 is going to be compelled to put beans or something in my ear. Plus he always blames anything that goes wrong with me on my weight, even when it's patently ridiculous.
Workguy: Like what?
Me: With my jaw problems he was all "Could this be caused by your eating habits? Are you eating lots of crunchy candies and that kind of thing?" I couldn't believe it. It couldn't possibly be the $900 worth of dental work I had over the course of two days that triggered it, no, it must be because I eat candy! Eat it all the time! Chew like a cow with a cud all day long, every day! In fact, I'm surprised that he hasn't found some way to blame a chronic ear infection on my fatness, like, "Are you keeping food in there? You're putting cheese burgers in your ears, aren't you!"
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Some time later:
Workguy: I have good news for you.
Me: I'm fired?
Workguy: Yes. That's it. We're happy enough with your work, but it was your habit of taking food out of your ears in the middle of meetings and eating it. Particularly when you offer it to the other people there. We've had complaints.
Me: I'll pack my things. But I'll need a box. There's no more room in my ears.
